Surprised by Joy
Commentary on lesson 3, "The Fruit of the Spirit is Joy", for discussion on Sabbath January 16, 2010.
Rachel Davies is a graduate of Walla Walla University and a regular contributor to the Spectrum website
C. S. Lewis. Photograph by Arthur Strong, in 1947. (Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.)
In 1956, C.S. Lewis published a memoir of his early life, titled Surprised by Joy. As a young enthusiast of Lewis’ famed Chronicles of Narnia series, I devoured many of his other works once I got to college. Surprised by Joy was my favorite. In it, Lewis describes the bitter-sweet ache which would come over him as a youth sometimes during his encounters with beauty. It was a sweet stab–a mystery that pierced the heart with longing and desire. He called it joy.
Lewis writes,
[Joy] is here a technical term and must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and from Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. Apart from that, and considered only in its quality, it might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. [1]
After finishing his book, I was irritated to begin noting its frequent use (or misuse) in sermons about that sweet emotional quality most of us are referring to when we use the word joy. Pulpit preachers exploited Lewis as a kind of trophy convert: “See,” they would say. “C.S. Lewis was an unhappy atheist. But once Christ entered his life, he experienced joy! Hallelujah!” Sometimes I wondered whether these preachers had actually even read the memoir they quoted with such authority. Lewis’ use of the word “joy” seemed so very different from theirs!
This week’s Sabbath School lesson begins by drawing some fairly sharp distinctions between joy and happiness. The principle contributor argues that “Happiness is the result of favorable circumstances; joy, in contrast, is the result of being—as in being connected to Jesus, the True Vine.”
I rebelled when I first read this, and set about arming myself with word studies from the Greek and Latin that would debunk the dubious distinction made between the words joy and happiness. Finally I realized that from an experiential and even biblical perspective, the distinction is perhaps not so dubious after all. And maybe Lewis’ technical term “joy” does indeed have more to do with Christian joy than I originally thought. In Galatians 5, joy comes from being connected to the Spirit of God. Likewise, at the end of his book, C.S. Lewis discovers that his periodic mystical encounters find their ultimate fulfillment in the reality of God. That is, in connection to the Vine.
What we still don’t have, however, is evidence that joy feels good (like the preachers say). Lewis says is hurts, though it is a hurt we long for. The lesson study points out Isaiah 53:3: Jesus was a “Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief,” and yet it also describes Jesus as a “man of joy.” If joy only refers to the feel-good quality we usually use the word to describe, then Jesus was not a man of joy at all. And joy for us, who rely on the Vine Jesus, is an unrealistic expectation.
Some years ago, the Christian duo Out of the Grey wrote a ballad and called it, simply, “Joy”:
Some say the face is unforgettable
I'm sure I've seen it many times
Ah, but you know me
I forget so easilyI thought I saw you in a Sunday crowd
But then I lost you in a blur of color
Water color clouds
Like deja vu, was that you?
Last week I made a pilgrimage to a place that is very dear to me—an old home filled with memories of Divine activity. But when I got there, I discovered that winter had fallen. The season of snow was settling in, both literally and metaphorically, and the joy of that place was no longer mine. It was very painful, and I was tempted to clutch after what used to be. C.S. Lewis discovered that whenever he tried to re-invoke old feelings of joy, he failed. “I frightened it away by my greedy impatience to snare it,” he writes, “And, even when it came, [I] instantly destroyed it by introspection, and at all times vulgarized it by my false assumptions about is nature.” [2]
Out of the Grey reminds us that joy is fragile. C.S. Lewis teaches us that joy is complex, mysterious, and that it cannot be controlled. Galatians 5 tells us that it is a fruit of the Spirit God, who we already know is like the wind, coming and going as he pleases (John 3). And yet even after putting these truths together in our minds, we are still tempted to parade joy triumphantly, to explain it, and to seize what can only be received as a gift.
So what then is joy? How do we synthesize all the things we know about it? I’ve found an answer in the text given us for Sunday, Psalm 139:
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast (vs. 7-10).
As Lewis came to understand in his senior years, joy is tasted when God brushes up against us, whispering through nature, through music, through stories and verse. But these moments point us to a deeper truth: that behind it all, when we are connected, God is actually present to us in all of life’s experiences. We cannot flee from him. Whether feeling high or low—even in the depths of depression—there is joy, because joy is the presence of God. It doesn’t always make us feel better; indeed, sometimes God’s companionship makes our valleys seem very vast, because we are empowered to see them with the honesty of his vision. But we need him. And we want him. As Lewis says again, “I doubt whether anyone who has tasted [joy] would ever, if bother were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world.”
To me, this is very good news. For instead of feeling guilty and unchristian when I am sad, I have confidence that God is with me—that I am in joy and that joy is in me, regardless of how I feel. I understand that the ache is as precious the sweetness on my journey to the Kingdom. Such assurance makes me feel not only joyful, but happy too!
* * *
[1] C.S. Lewis, Surprised by joy (London: Harcourt, 1955), 18.
[2] Ibid., 169.
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Comments
Surely, joy is not limited to Christians; if it were, why do we so seldom see it in the Christian's acts and expressions?
Joy is the laughter of a child; or an old person who has experienced life and is still eager to see what tomorrow may bring.
Joy, like happiness is an attitude; one can decide to be happy or experience joy, just as some people spread gloom and sadness most of the time.
Having lived a long and mostly happy life, I find in the twilight years that happiness is found in the relationships of family and close friends; without good relationships, it is impossible to be completely joyful.
I suggest rightly comprehended are the fruits of the Spirit as evidenced and epitomized in Christ because I suggest He perfectly kept all these "Spirit attitudes" along with His role of "perfect substitute" in His "law keeping".
Remakable then is this aspect of Joy described by the writer of Hebrews:
"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the JOY set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart." Heb.12:1-3.
regards,
pat
Beautiful stuff, Rachel.
Rachel
I just finished rereading C.S. Lewis' book The Problem of Pain. It is interesting how he could bring one closer to God through both Joy and Pain. I first became acquainted with Lewis through the Screwtape Letters and Mere Christianity both written in the WWII era. He certainly was a major factor in bring understanding of both humanity and divinity. A great choice for this Sabbath School lesson. Thank you. Tom
Not insignificant to the title of his book is that Lewis found companionship and fulfillment late in life when he married Joy Gresham; and, of course, lost her soon after to cancer.
Lewis continually made the point that all our searches for happiness are an inner drive, given to us by God, to be satisfied by nothing but the ultimate joy of His presence. He described this joy as "distinct from pleasure in general but even from aesthetic pleasure. It must have the stab, the pang, the inconsolable longing."
So yes, Elaine, we can have joy and pleasure from all kinds of good stuff in our experiences but that's not what Lewis is talking about. Unless you have experienced the moodiness of a bleak twilight that envelopes the world of Norse legend and mixed with a longing so deep, it's hard to imagine what Lewis was really experiencing. They say that northern peoples are expert at this kind moody longing that feels like joy and sorrow all mixed together. Lewis got it - from Norse legends when he was young. Later he tried to recapture this fleeting experience, only to get a glimpse of it before it was already gone. As he once wrote, by the time you realize you're experiencing it, it's already gone. Lewis was convinced it is our longing that nothing earthly can satisfy, even our religious experiences. It goes way beyond "a good feeling.'
Elaine,
Try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D4LtzZACek :)
Sirje, It is easy to understand why those in the extreme northern climes suffer more from depression and the "blues."
A recent suvey showed that the people in Costa Rica are the happiest of any country; the U.S. was 43rd (I believe). While climate has much to do with our happiness, we are about as happy as we want to be (I believe Abe Lincoln said this).
Haven't we all seen people who have suffered immeasurable tragedies who are, nevertheless, happy, while those surrounded with all the "things" one could possibly desire, are most miserable--which proves that our attitude is the difference.
Has anyone shown that Christians are happier than non-religious folk?
TV anchor Hume, is being derided because when talking about Tiger Woods' being a Buddhist impressed Douthat, in a NYTimes op-ed article to write:
"the fact that Buddhism promotes an ethical life without recourse to Christian concepts like the Fall of Man, divine judgment and damnation is precisely what makes it so appealing."
Without a heaven or hell, Buddhism encourages right living and eliminating all desire: IOW, lower expectations results in more happiness. Continually believing there should be "more" encourages reapeated disappointment.
Sirje,
Thank you for the very moving YouTube video. Your point about Joy Gresham is worthy, but of course "Suprised by Joy" was published before she and Lewis married. It is ironic that later in his life, the old batchelor Lewis was quite literally 'suprised by Joy!;
Elaine,
I'm too idealistic to go in for your last comment: "Continually believing there should be 'more' encourages repreated disappointment.'" If I was a materialist, I would become a Buddhist in a heartbeat. To me, Buddhist philosophy offers the most compassionate treatment of human experience in the absence of a God.
But I'm not materialist. I choose to believe, even if it means disappointment!
Rachel,
I think Lewis got married in '57 and had corresponded with Joy before that, as well as welcomed her and her sons into his home. Perhaps the title grew out of his feelings for Joy. I can't believe it was just a coincidence. In any case, my copy of the book is well worn as are all the other books Lewis wrote.
That's true, Sirje. Actually, Joy and Lewis married in 1956, but that was only so she could stay in the UK. They didn't have a "Christian" (love) marriage until 1957, after Joy's diagnosis.
But Suprised by Joy was published in 1955, which means Lewis would have been working on it before then. I doubt that the the book's theme- joy- evolved with such coherance overnight. My bet is that Lewis was thinking of "joy" for years before he put it into print.
I suppose it's chronologically possible that the title grew out of Joy and Lewis' friendship, but I see no solid evidence that such is how it happened. To me, it's a stretch.
Thank you Rachel for this article. It has rekindled my interest in Lewis and I've started tackling a very thick compilation of his essays: C.S. Lewis Essay Collection and Other Short Pieces. published by Harper Collins. I had received the book as a gift at some point, but was totally saturated with C.S. Lewis, having read all of his books (I think) over the years and just made it part of my library. I'm enjoying it and am finding some stuff I had missed. It pays to reread some authors. They may not have changed but I have.
I appreciate the discussion so far about joy and the contribution of C.S. Lewis but there is an issue in the lesson quarterly that deeply disturbs me. I quote from Tuesday's study:
"There is no greater joy than the joy of being obedient to the will of God. While it may seem to some that an emphasis on obedience to the law of God simply serves to exacerbate an already guilty conscience, the fact is that obedience to the will of God is liberating. Remember, it was disobedience that brought war to heaven and sin and death to this planet. All human pain and suffering are the result of humans stepping outside the will of God. It will be, then, obedience to the will of God through faith that helps restore joy."
My conclusion, as I prepare to teach this lesson in the morning, is that this paragraph is the Galatian heresy at it worst. Please, can anybody prove me wrong?
Must my obedience to the law contribute to an unfinished work of Christ on the cross? Must I add my works of obedience to the work of Christ to help resolve the war in heaven and the curse of sin and death on this planet? Must I help finish what Christ left incomplete? Is it not human pride that makes us think that God needs our contribution to help solve the problem of sin?
Real joy for me is found in "the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord?" Phil. 3:8.
"God forbid that I should glory [and have joy] save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ." Is it not still true that my obedience and all my best works must be cleansed by the blood of Jesus?
Or am I missing something here?
Ray
Rachel, thank you for your explanation of the difference between happiness and joy. You've made it quite clear that there is a vast difference. I agree the word joy is often overused and incorrectly used as is the word awesome. I too read Surprised by Joy decades ago. It is a book worthy of rereading from time to time.
Happiness has doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being a Christian or not being a Christian. Doesn't the Buddhist country of Bhutan supposedly have the highest rate of happiness? (At least they claim this for themselves.) Happiness is a state of mind that we choose. Or don't choose.
Thanks to your beautiful article, Rachel, I now understand joy to be another quite different state of mind from happiness. Karen Kotoske
Ray,
Good questions...Who knows the motives behind the comment. In fairness one can not say everything with every statement.
BUT...If we could "perfectly" keep the law in "letter and Spirit" it indeed would be liberating. To the degree we are in harmony with it in Spirit and deed it is liberating.
Rightly used we see our true self when looking into the law and flee to Christ. Christians should desire to obey Christ and the law through the spirit and this is "an element" of living in grace as Titus said:
" For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, 12 instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, 13 looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus. Titus 2:11,12.
>>Is it not still true that my obedience and all my best works must be cleansed by the blood of Jesus?<<
Yes justification (JBF/RBF) is a continual need regardless of our progressing or "faltering" state of sanctification.
Blessings,
pat
This is the best comment yet made:
"Happiness is a state of mind that we choose."
Happiness, and the accompanying joy has nothing to do with one's professed belief but is the characteristic of contented people. They may have various religious beliefs, or none at all. People are about as happy as they choose to be.
We have all known people who had more personal tragedies in their lives than most any one person and yet they have a serenity and peace that is almost contagious.
Cultivating that joy in life may be an acquired habit, but whatever one's belief it does not constitute the only way it is achieved. Buddhist's probably have the ideal that few Christians can claim.
Re: Ray Smith et all and your comments.
"There is no greater joy than the joy of being obedient to the will of God. While it may seem to some that an emphasis on obedience to the law of God simply serves to exacerbate an already guilty conscience, the fact is that obedience to the will of God is liberating. Remember, it was disobedience that brought war to heaven and sin and death to this planet. All human pain and suffering are the result of humans stepping outside the will of God. It will be, then, obedience to the will of God through faith that helps restore joy."
My conclusion, as I prepare to teach this lesson in the morning, is that this paragraph is the Galatian heresy at it worst. Please, can anybody prove me wrong?
Must my obedience to the law contribute to an unfinished work of Christ on the cross? Must I add my works of obedience to the work of Christ to help resolve the war in heaven and the curse of sin and death on this planet? Must I help finish what Christ left incomplete? Is it not human pride that makes us think that God needs our contribution to help solve the problem of sin?
Real joy for me is found in "the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord?" Phil. 3:8.
"God forbid that I should glory [and have joy] save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Perhaps a different definition of obedience would make a differnce here than the, in my opinion, standard understanding of "do as your told" meaning that I think most people in adventism and other fundamentalist groups adhere to.
I believe I found this defintion in E.G Whites writings but can't recall at the moment where. That defintion was that true obedience is "to have a strong willingness to LISTEN." I believe that is what happens as a trust relationship developes between two beings.
I don't use White here as being the last word on this or an anything else as having this understanding because God either whispered or shouted into her ear but because for me it makes more "sense" that what I previously understood obedience to mean. I feel no "guilt" in "my" obedience to God with this understanding of the word, ln fact it has become my desire to fllow him because it makes great sense.
Perhaps the "larger view of the great controversy" was the only way to really learn to trust and listen to God through a real life experience. On this basis I can fully trust that by beholding HIM as revealed through the life of Jesus I become changed (2nd corinthians 3:18) and then there is no GUILT and it has become pure JOY to obey him who will never leave me not forsake me and I can come "Boldly before the throne of grace to recieve help in my time of need."
Ray's question is a good one and his dilemma is understandable. I don't know if the lesson author had a (partly) hidden agenda, or if there a perfectionist subtext here. But there need not be. It does seem to me that joy and salvation are distinguishable. When we live as close as possible to the way God wants us to live (doing so completely being impossible), it will make our lives better, and also it will make the lives of those around us better. In other words, we will "have life and more abundantly". This, I think, may be the lesson author's point - given the SDA history with perfectionism, Ray's suspicion is understandable, but I wonder if in this case you aren't reading more into the author's comment than he intended. Even if that isn't the case, I choose to read it in that light! Perfection is impossible; a better life, thanks to trying to follow God's design and Christ's model, is not.
There are two points I would like to pick up. "For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men," as quoted by Pat. And Jay, I can come "Boldly before the throne of grace to recieve help in my time of need."
The grace of God and the throne of grace are my focus. This becomes very personal. God's grace, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is my greatest source of joy: the joy of forgiveness, the joy of acceptance in the beloved, the joy of being gifted Christ's perfect righteousness, the joy of the new birth, the joy of eternal life here and now, the joy of no condemnation, joy in the hope of one day being like Him, in the hope of communing face to face with Him for eternity. These are all gifts of pure grace, pure love, through Christ's finished work on the cross. Paul's call to obedience to this gospel is life's challenge.
Obedience in this life is so imperfect that joy can only flow through grace, through Christ crucified. His ultimate obedience was obedience unto death, even death on the cross.
How little I understand of this amazing grace. But I know this, the more I understand it as God reveals His grace to me, the more I want to love Him, serve Him and live in obedience to Him. And I know this, I can add nothing to so great a salvation.
The theme for the Sabbath School class thismorning?
Salvation is all of grace.
Obedience is all of grace.
Joy is all of grace.
It's all about the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ray
David, I just found your post and appreciate your comments. My real concern with the statement in the lesson is that joy is not rooted and grounded in the finished work of Christ on the cross. Christ crucified is the wisdom and power of God. In the light of the cross, obedience will find its true place.
Ray
Ray,
>>Salvation is all of grace.
Obedience is all of grace.
Joy is all of grace.
It's all about the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.<<
May I refine from my perspective:
Justification by faith though grace is received by faith "alone" when prompted of the HS. Our "perfection" and Righteouness before Father/Christ.
All Salvation is of grace.
Obedience is all of grace but requires our "Spirit led" input which is not by "faith alone" but faith + works...never arrives at sinless perfection and based on this alone you will never enjoy "spiritual peace."
Joy is all of grace and is a "fruit of the Spirit."
It indeed is all about the grace of God exhibited in our Lord Jesus Christ.
regards,
pat
Thank you Pat for your perspectives.
Sabbath school starts in 40 minutes down-under.
Ray
How about the idea that joy, as a facet of the Spirit's fruit in Galatians 5, is not simply about an individual or internal experience. Paul sets this within the context of addressing a community of believers that are on the verge of "biting and devouring" one another over religious and even racial divisions.
In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit would then be seen in a love that would seek the good of the other, a peace between former enemies, and a joy of fellowship that would bring those who were at odds to sit at the same table, celebrating Christ and the oneness he has brought between them. "Against such, there is no law."
Real joy is thus integral to authentic relationship...not simply with individuals with God, but also with others. Is this not the substance of the two great commands?
Thanks...
Frank
Ray:
As I read this note under Tuesdays lesson, it sopke to me of freedom. To live in Gos's will is joy.
The quote is preceded by Ps.40:8 I delight to do thy will, O my God, and your law is within my heart.
If you read 1Cor.2:9 in context, " No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him" I believe it is talking about here and now. It something only understood by someone in a love relationship with Him and it speaks of great joy.
Dave
If you read 1Cor.2:9 in context, " No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him" I believe it is talking about here and now.
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If it is read in context, it is specifically talking about the reality of a crucified Christ. No mind would ever have conceived, no heart would ever have imagined, a Messiah whose victory would be won in weakness and public humiliation. It flew completely in the face of all Jewish expectation, and against all the concepts of divinity and power in the wider Greco-Roman world as well. Paul is saying that if the rulers/powers that be of this world had understood, they would never have crucified the Lord of Glory.
IOW, human reason and imagination could never concoct or dream up what God would do to save us. It is why Paul is saying that the foolishness of the gospel confounds the wisdom of the wise, and is only comprehended because of the convicting work of the Spirit upon human hearts. And it comes only through the preaching of the message of Christ crucified.
In many ways, it's not much different today.
Thanks...
Frank
Frank,
What you say is certainly background for the quote however the application is to Gods people. " But God has revealed it to us by His Spirit.vs 10 For who among us knows the of a man except the man's spirit within him?"vs 11. For who knows the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ vs16. My point is that all my life I have been taught this referred to heaven. It surely can have that application but we miss a rich experience in not aplying it to a potentialy rich experience right now.
Dave
Congrats Ray on generating more stimuli for comments than Rachel did, though somehow I don't think she is all so disappointed.
Oh, and you are missing something, which I might not have thought to comment about had you not ask us if you were missing something. Glory is not Joy. Joy seems to be how you feel about your experience of yourself in the given setting. Glory seems definitely how you feel about someone or something else.
And I am no doubt missing something ...
By now SS will be over down under - I hope Ray had a good class. Thanks to him and to all who picked up on the thread - a very good and positive one, I thought. But in light of Bill's comment and to do justice to Rachel's excellent commentary, I'm sure her comments helped to crystallise Ray's thinking. But one of the beauties of the SS section of this website is that it can generate its own conversation, with the commentary merely a starting point, and that has been the case here. Commentary and posts have all been of a very high quality, and also (I think) spiritually uplifting. So I'm grateful to all.
My point is that all my life I have been taught this referred to heaven.
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Dave...
I'd go a step further and say it really can't be applied to heaven and "streets of gold," except in a loose homiletical fashion. If one is going strictly from the context, it most definitely is about the here and now. And Paul is speaking of a transformed here and now that is generated by the preaching of Christ and him crucified. It is the touchstone for changed lives and a transfprmed community, which is what he saw as the great need of the Corinthian church.
And isn't that the present life of rich abundance that God has in mind for us all?
Thanks...
Frank
Dear Everyone,
As I read Rachel's and the following comments, I got more and more depressed. I feel no "joy" following Christ, in fact, I feel nothing. I don't feel like I am in a relationship with God let alone an "authentic" relationship. I read the Bible. I feel no connection, no intuition, no speaking to me...I pray and get no answers...no peace, no guidance...silence no matter what...I claim promises...I sin and claim promises of being able to overcome and a way of escape. Love God? I don't know if I do...but I place myself to be loved, to be known and to build a "relationship" and ... nothing. I have to say I feel nothing but God has promised and I claim those promises...do you know how hard it is to be constantly surrounded by Christians who get so much "joy from their relationship with God"...a God who they "feel" near them...a God who "tells" them things...and I get nothing! Either...something is terribly wrong with me...or most Christian aren't that truthful...or they are being lead by false "feelings"...Help me glimpse some real joy...Tami
All:
I want to echo David Trim's words of appreciation to you for making this article's comments section a positive and edifying place. It can be incredibly discouraging as a writer to post something in hopes that it will generate real conversation, only to see our readers attack one another or whatever idea or opinion has been expressed in the article. How refreshing-- how delightful-- to see people using Spectrum as a place to build each other up! That is always our hope and desire. Major kudos to each one of you.
Tami:
My heart aches when I read your post, because not too long ago your words could have been mine too. Everyone's pain is different, so I don't presume to understand what it feels like for you. But I do know that the silence of God can be absolutely deafening. What I was trying to say in my article is that joy is different from happiness-- happiness is the sweet feeling; joy is objective connection to God. To me, it sounds very much like you are experiencing this kind of joy:
"Love God? I don't know if I do...but I place myself to be loved, to be known and to build a "relationship" and ... nothing. I have to say I feel nothing but God has promised and I claim those promises..."
The point Lewis makes is that joy aches (perhaps because we taste in it the sensible absence of the God we need), but it is an ache that we would rather die than lose. The best would be to feel God in fulness, but the worst would be to just stop caring about him. And that's why we keep trying to place ourselves in the pathway of his love. That's why we keep claiming his promises when other interior and exterior voices tell us that it really makes sense to give up.
The fact that you don't feel God doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. Long before her private writings were released, the experience of Mother Teresa was formative to my personal walk. I'm sure you've heard about her intense spiritual loneliness and sense of abandonment by God. I'm sure you are also acquainted with the vast body of literature in classical and contemporary spirituality on the silence of God. If not, I'm happy to offer you some recommendations...
This comment of yours was most poignant to me:
"...do you know how hard it is to be constantly surrounded by Christians who get so much "joy from their relationship with God"...a God who they "feel" near them...a God who "tells" them things...and I get nothing!"
Tami, know that you're not alone in these feelings. Most believers who are sincerely seeking God go through a stage like this-- a stage that sometimes lasts for years and years. If you think you might find it helpful to hear about someone else's experience of God's silence (mine), just say the word and I will email you privately (I have access to your email address in our Spectrum database).
In the meantime, courage.
Tami...
I have known these feeling well, too. It just seems hard to get a handle on having intense feelings for someone you can't see, or touch, or feel near you...or to believe that they feel the same way.
For me, it has been liberating to know that God's main avenue to experience his nearness, is other people. People who care about us, people who come near to us in our struggles and pain, people with whom we can share our hopes and dreams and joys.
I think that the role of prayer and bible study can sometimes be over emphasized as THE means of experiencing the presence of God. It sometimes drives those of us who feel isolated, and isolated from him, into further isolation. Meanwhile, God's comment is that it isn't good for any of us to be alone...IOW, isolated from other people. It has been freeing to realize that if I just am not "getting it" in prayer...I can feel God's love with a good friend on the phone, or in laughter over dinner.
If we're the body of Christ, then that means that God wants us to still experience his presence with "skin on." To feel his nearness through the human touch and sympathy of friends who can dry our tears, and ease our loneliness.
I hope this helps in some small way.
Frank
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