Gear Up, Kids! It’s Time for the Annual War on Christmas
5 December 2007
Gear Up, Kids! It’s Time for the Annual War on Christmas
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I am pleased to announce that it is now time for the “Annual War on Christmas.”
Brace yourself for the ceremonial de-lighting of the Christmas tree, blowing out of the Menorah candles, and sequestering of the Holy Family. Talk show hosts will decry the “attack on Judeo-Christianity” while children will wonder whether ACLU injunctions will block Santa’s ability to land in their fireplaces.
If the anti-Christmas forces prevail, a new holiday may emerge a la Seinfeld’s “Festivus for the Rest of Us” defined by a barren pole, post-dinner feats of strength, and the airing of grievances.
Like you, I’ve heard remote stories from exotic locations like Missouri where somebody complained about a tree at the State University, and somebody else took it down. Then they put it back the next day without so much a peep from the hordes of pointy-featured anti-Christian infidels who had presumably pointed at it with their long dirty fingernails and screeched oaths against it.
But even though I am sitting here across the street from the State Capitol in Sacramento, where any protest that could take place would, I have not seen any shrapnel, much less any casualties of this war. In fact, the Governor is scheduled to light the tree tonight.
Bereft of any indication of a local battle, I Googled the news to find an example of a good horror story to share with you to establish how this year’s Annual War on Christmas would stack up against last year’s, but frankly, I did not find much. I found stories about Christmas tree lighting ceremonies and charitable work, but not much to do with seasonal anti-Christmas sentiments. Maybe it is because there are still over 20 days left for the anti-Christian forces to do their dirty work before December 26 comes and takes away the fun for this year.
I did find a picture of Bill O’Reilly sitting in front of a Christmas tree graphic that mentions the War on Christmas. I don’t know if it was from this year or last year, but in looking at it, it struck me that it was idiotic to claim that to be protecting the “American way of life” by protecting Christmas trees from infidels and pagans. People who make this argument are forgetting that trees originated as part of the winter solstice celebration at which time little pagan boys and girls would celebrate by cutting down a pine tree and dragging it indoors. In reality, Christians hijacked the winter solstice.
Is there a War on Christmas? I cannot deny that there may be a person or two in the world with nothing better to do than absorb the joy of the season with the precision of the Grinch, but I haven’t met any of them yet. Instead, the idea that there is a War on Christmas out there gives the good folks a sense of victory and cheer whenever they pass by a municipal tree. A famous person, whose name I cannot find, might have uttered an aphorism such as “Beauty is much better appreciated when it is achieved through struggle.” And that would apply here – even if the struggle is against a group that could not care less.
“Take that, you infidels,” say the Christians. “You cannot take away our tree.”
“So what?” they respond.
Lest you think that in denying the existence of a War on Christmas, I am detracting from the magic of the season, let me assure you that I think Christmas trees are wonderful things. I am even now trying to teach our cairn terrier that our plastic tree, which appears to be the progeny of two ambitious toilet brushes, is different from the trees outside. She apparently thinks we have given her a very generous gift.
“No, Penelope,” I have to tell her. “Because we have a tree inside does not mean we have given you indoor plumbing.”
For that, she is going to need to learn how to flush without falling in.
Michael D. Peabody is an attorney writing from Sacramento, California.
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I don't know where Mr. Peabody is living (ah, Sacramento, his tag says!) ... but I see evidence of a "War on Christmas" all over--in particular, inside the Adventist Church. Is it my imagination, or is there an increasing number of Scrooges in our midst? Ellen White never had a problem with Christmas trees, or a Christ-oriented celebration ... so where do these folks come from?
The cairn terrier is cute. Merry Christmas.
Unfortunately, people are really convinced there is a War on Christmas. Of course, the acrimony with which some organizations attack anyone with a Christian agenda is great fodder for their expectations. Not that Christian politicking or promoting church and state alliances should be tolerated, but the comments are so jarring with their denunciations, they seems positively venomous.
It reminds me of a church split some years ago. The person who passed on the dirt was right, technically speaking, but his way of doing it hurt some and alienated others. It was a lose-lose proposition.
Mark Twain said, “It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.” In this War on Christmas, it takes the “Christian” and the grinches to really take the joy out of Christmas; the one to make (up) the War and the other to advertise it.
Anonymous, it seems to me a vestige of our ad fontas Protestant genes, an atavism of our anti-Catholic, anti-tradition roots. This stuff comes and goes as people feel like they can get at some pure, "early Christian" primitive faith or find other way to manufacture holiness.
During the English Protestant/Catholic wars during the 1500s and 1600s, the radicals -- Puritans -- felt that Christmas was not Christian, but rather, as it is, a syncretic mix of folk and hierarchical religion. In fact, the great evangelical puritan Oliver Cromwell outlawed Christmas.
From Protestant Cromwell to Catholic O'Reilly to that Teddybear named Muhammad, it's often the most meaningful symbols that demagogues infuse with extra metaphysical meaning in their pathetic (and dangerous) cries for attention and money.
Happy Holidays!!!
Call me a curmudgeon or a scrooge, there are a couple of things that bother me about Christmastime.
Black Friday - standing in line all night in order to beat 15,000 other people into Macy's to grab up all the discounted items imported from countries where children work in sweatshops so we can have designer handbags on Christmas morning bothers me a bit.
Ramping up the output at the neighborhood power plant so that we can keep miles of colored lights and oversized glowing snowmen burning all night long bothers me a bit.
Piles upon piles of bright paper on the living room floor Christmas day, en route to the dumpster, bothers me a bit.
Eating to the point of nausea when there are people a few blocks away digging through our waste for their Christmas dinner bothers me just a little bit.
If I were to wage war on Christmas, it wouldn't be about trees (and just for the record, real trees are more environmentally sustainable than the fake ones, experts say: renewable resource with no plastic or lead).
If I were to wage war on Christmas, it would be a war on the way Christmas makes us lose our heads, makes us forget about other people, even while we're so busy giving gifts to each other.
I do not advocate bah humbugging, only a thoughtful re-evaluation of how we do Christmas. What excessive, wasteful practices can we cut back on or eliminate? How can we show greater appreciation for the gifts that God presents us with - things like our earth, and the terrific people living in it?
When we start to recognize the miraculous things we already have (and sometimes neglect), then, I think, we're moving toward the true spirit of Christmas.
Brief addendum:
The tidbit about eco-trees is just for the curious, but is certainly not directed anywhere in particular.
Second, the holidays would not be complete without Reverend Billy (America's favorite *fake* preacher) and the Stop Shopping Gospel Choir. see here. (Find salvation from the Shopocalypse).
K, I'm done now.
Glad you mentioned Rev. Billy, I watched What Would Jesus Buy last weekend. What a hoot of a documentary!
He did the homily for the Spectrum Blog liturgy on Sabbath.
For further reading, Religion News Service published an article entitled, "Christmas Wars Lucrative for Advocacy Groups." Apparently there's some money to be made in manufacturing paper tigers, even at the cost of credibility.
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/206/story_20651_1.html
The war on Christmas is real. And here is how to wage it.
http://www.waronxmasmanual.com/
I frankly couldn't care less about "the war on Christmas." I really don't care if the clerk at my favorite big box store wishes me "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." I don't mind if the Christmas display on the courthouse lawn has no nativity scene and the local school bans singing of religious Christmas corals. The fact that President Bush's official Christmas card makes no mention of Christmas hardly matters to me.
I can always celebrate Christmas the way that is meaningful to me--even if nobody else does. Is my Christmas really enhanced or adversely affected by the way you do or don't celebrate Christmas? I hardly think so.
Happy Holidays. Well, okay, Merry Christmas!
I wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS! I didn't know you guys had a sense of humor - this is funny.
A friend of mine, wrote a pretty good post on this armchair war.
I declare war on war metaphors
What does a tree have to do with Christmas? Research it. You will discover it originated with a pagan custom and had nothing to do with the birth of Jesus. All holidays are pretty much pagan and have a hidden agenda. So happy holidays...which really means holy days. Or should I say Happy Swipe Your Credit Card Days!
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