
God is Not
God is not your grandfather
who looks a little like Santa Claus,
the white beard who never-the-less
knows when you have been naughty or nice.
God is not an over-stuffed teddy bear
good for hugs when you weep
for all that your hands have broken.
Nor is he Thor, sitting on peak of your roof
thunderbolt ready, waiting
for you to mow your lawn on Sabbath.
Nor is he a she—an earth mother
skipping along the road dispensing
cabbages and oranges from her
cornucopia over-flowing
with all things great and small.
At least for some,
God is none of the above,
or any other anthropomorphized
being carved into an image of our fancy.
.
For a few, the select, for those
who are truly blessed.
God is a cold wind
blowing through emptiness,
that hole in the middle of your life, that
lone ache clawed into the center of your chest
that has always been there, there
when you go to sleep, there
when you wake in the morning.
God keeping it clean as a whistle.
~John McDowell
Commentary
A friend recently loaned me the theologian, Martin E. Marty’s A Cry of Absence: Reflections for the Winter of the Heart. The book describes and validates the Christian path that winds through the darker phases of life’s journey when the seemingly constant call is that the appropriate response for the Christian is to be sunny, cheerful and aglow in the bounteous goodness and joy of the Lord. Marty writes. “The message in this world of spiritual best-sellers and large audiences is consistent: “Follow me, follow my prescription, think the right thoughts, and all the chill will disappear. Joy comes to those who prosper in faith” (7). Life does not always turn out well. Relationships do not always mend, the cancer is not always healed, one’s spiritual weather forecast is not always sunny and warm. Marty notes that, “The sunny friend and the summery gathering are of little help to many seekers. If such are still to have sufficient hope to inspire an address to the Absence, a quieting of the furious wintery wind, where do they turn?” (6). This is the central question that Marty’s book addresses.
While reading his book, I realized that some months prior I had confronted—at least in part—what Marty is getting at in a poem of my own. “God is Not” begins humorously with the childish confusion of God and Santa Claus and builds from that to debunk other “popular” images of the divine. Underneath the humor (some may even see sarcasm) there is the frustration that the various pictures of God presented to the speaker do not fit with the experience of absence and alienation. The poem gives voice to those where it is winter in the deep heart’s core.
Citation: Marty, Martin E., A Cry of Absence: Reflections for the Winter of the Heart, Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Pub. Co., 1997.
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John McDowell, Ph.D., is Professor of English at Pacific Union College.
Comments
Wow. Powerful. Thank you.
What a great reminder to be honest about our dark days when God seems a million miles away. It seems we always hear the "testimony" after someone has been through a spiritually dry experience instead of "please pray for me now."
To Nola--because the "please pray for me now" often is nothing more than gossip fodder, and we realize that we truly have nobody but God to lean on. We can give the testimony after we've come through it, be we often have to go through it alone.
M
I wonder our communal spiritual journey be more real if we were to share the times when God didn't "come through?"
An ironic spiritual comfort.
This piece is inspiring and gives me fuel for the day. Thank you for the poem about reality.
Beautiful. Thank you.
I love how the poem transforms into something unexpected, almost shocking. I was pleasantly surprised by how the poem gets turned on its head. The movement of the poem is toward wordlesslness, emptiness--away from the images and attachments we carry about God. And yet, it does so, paradoxically, necessarily, in words. I think it is a beautiful idea that God may want to keep that aching emptiness alive in us so that we continue to yearn and reach for God without end.
And thanks, John, for pointing us towards Martin Marty's book. I love the concept of "wintery spirituality" as I have always related more to it than the more summery version of faith. I'll have to check his book out. I briefly came across Marty's work on this in a reference by Belden Lane in his book _The Solace of Fierce Landscapes_ which I highly recommend.
I'll include a seemingly relevant quote from Lane's book here:
"It is a deep mystery that love is born in the mind's (and body's) experience of emptiness and loss. The longing of the soul, made sharper by the painful absence of that which it loves--by its inability to close on what it desires--reaches in darkness for a beloved who comes unannounced and without guarantee. God reaches through the dark night of the senses, as John of the Cross would express it, to offer freely in love what no human effort could buy. If God is to be loved as God loves, it will happen only in the dark corridors of emptiness. Only in devastating loss--beyond all security of language and identity, in despairing ever of obtaining the glory first sought--only then does a truth too wondrous to be grasped come rushing back into the void. Love takes wing where calculation ends," (73).
Thank you to all who have posted. I am always deeply moved when I find that a poem that I have written has resonance for someone else. Specifically, Heather thanks for the Lane quotation. I do sometimes feel that I am on the outside looking in when what is expected as the correct and natural state is the saved soul’s expression is joyous country summer shine always.
One need only read the poetry of the Psalms to find that sunshine is mixed with storms and rain.
Thanks...
Frank
True enough ~ I'm a fan of Psalm 88 for example . . .
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