Frank Conversations: A Review of “The Faith Club”

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The Faith Club, by Ranya Idilby, Suzanne Oliver, and Priscilla Warner, is a book I’d heard about for awhile and was anxious to read. It’s the story of three women — one Muslim, one Jewish, one Christian — who began meeting together to talk about their three faiths, to explore differences and find common ground. Ranya, Suzanne and Priscilla didn’t know each other when they first began their project, which started after the 9/11 attacks as a plan by Ranya Idilby to write a children’s book about Islam, Judaism and Christianity. The project soon became a friendship — but not one without challenges and arguments as the three women got to know each other and talked honestly about what they believed.

I found the process these women went through, both as a group and individually, to be absolutely fascinating. The group process is interesting because we are so trained to avoid discussing controversial subjects in social settings — and, as women particularly, trained to avoid conflict altogether. My closest group of women friends doesn’t include a Muslim and a Jew but it does include a wide diversity of religious beliefs and unbeliefs, and while we have had a few frank conversations about religion we have also tiptoed around possibly controversial subjects.

There’s no tiptoeing here. Suzanne, Ranya and Priscilla honestly confronted and thrashed out questions like: Does Christianity portray Jews as Christ-killers? Is Islam a repressive religion for women? and many, many others. At the end, they found common ground they could stand on and an appreciation for their differences.

Each woman also went on an individual faith journey as she explored her own beliefs in the context of the other two — as well as in the context of her own life. Ranya, the Muslim, became more comfortable identifying herself as an American Muslim and looking for a faith community she could feel at home in. Priscilla, the Jewish woman, became more deeply committed to her faith. And Suzanne, the Christian, found herself questioning and doubting beliefs she had taken for granted.

One thing that struck me was that all three of these women, though observant to some degree and deeply spiritual, all came from more liberal branches of their religions. Their explorations led all three of them to a kind of pluralism and universalism in which each could accept the other’s religion as equally valid to her own — and, in fact, that was not far from the point where each of them had started. I was left wondering whether this kind of dialogue and friendship would be possible between three conservative or even fundamentalist Muslim, Christian and Jewish women. Is pluralism necessary for real dialogue and openness, or can those who are convinced that their religion is objectively true still have meaningful conversations with those of other faiths?

As far as the actual writing of the book went, the narration alternates among the three, with each woman taking turns telling her own story, punctuated by some passages of dialogue transcribed from tapes of their conversations over a period of a couple of years. None of the three voices comes through as particularly compelling or strong in a literary sense — there is no budding Anne Lamott or Nora Gallagher among these three. But the story they tell is so compelling I wasn’t worried about literary quality — I was pulled along by the desire to find out what they talked about, how they resolved their differences, and where each woman ended up in her spiritual journey. The Faith Club was an intriguing and satisfying read, and offers a much-needed perspective on interfaith dialogue in today’s world. You can also check out the three authors’ website for much more interesting material about them.

Trudy Morgan-Cole is a writer, teacher and mom from Newfoundland who writes regular book reviews over at Compulsive Overreader, where this review was originally published. Each year she lays aside fiction during Lent in order to get through “a hefty pile of spiritual, theological or generally religious-ish non-fiction — usually things I’ve wanted to read but haven’t got around to because there are too many good novels to read.”

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Comments

This is a book and review that fascinate me, and I'm especially interested about your points, Trudy, about being trained to avoid controversial subjects in social settings, and about pluralism and open dialogue. My first response to your question about whether pluralism is necessary for open dialogue was "No!" I thought about a friend of mine who works very hard at being open-minded and listens deeply to others, and who DOES believe that her religion is objective truth. And I realized that, though through very great effort and putting up with some discomfort she would indeed be able to engage in some pretty open dialogue with other faiths, it would be a struggle for her and would perhaps not result in the same level of learning and growth - or compromise, if you want to take a different slant on it. In fact, she might not ever get to the level of "honest confrontation" that these three women in "The Faith Club" seem to achieve.

If we never allow our beliefs to be questioned and are not open to the freedom of listening to others, we will never learn what and why other people hold different positions. This should be a part of our life-long education: to learn all we can about other points of view. In so doing, we may, for the first time, honestly explore the reasons for our beliefs; some that may never have been previously challenged, but merely accepted as they were taught.

How many here have had free and open discussions with Mormons? Jews? even atheists? We would all benefit and become more tolerant and can shed our prejudices; which, after all, are borne of ignorance and fear of the unknown.

Elaine - You're so right about the "life-long education." I'm struck by your question about free and open discussions with Mormons, because when I was growing up we were good friends with a Mormon family, yet any dialogue at all about religious things was very minimal. Of course, as kids we were more worried about playing "grocery store" than debating ideologies! Both sets of parents, however, seemed to me to be very open and tolerant people who COULD have engaged in positive dialogue - but as Trudy points out, "we are so trained to avoid discussing controversial subjects in social settings." I think my parents and their Mormon friends were probably trying to demonstrate tolerance by NOT discussing. And so they did indeed avoid any confrontation or disagreement; at the same time, they may have missed a beautiful opportunity for that life-long education.

Since facing the questions raised by my son's homosexuality some 20 years ago, I have learned to approach everything I was taught growing up with an open mind. I can accept, even embrace, the idea that God works through other world religions. So for me, pluralism isn't a nasty word.

I really appreciate learning about this book and plan to read it soon. Thank you, Trudy. However, since taking on the care and feeding of two grandchildren (9 & 10) several weeks ago, I find very little time to read anymore!

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